A Dad, Husband, and Entrepreneur Battling with Worry and Fear

Until 1996, I battled worry and fear with my personal will power. As an entrepreneur, every week was a battle. I accepted this stress as part of being a CEO. Just tough it out, right? I was in my mid-thirties and had just sold my company and entered a partnership with a competitor to build one of the fastest-growing companies in America. Until that point, the Bible was just a book of rules, a list of dos and don’ts. We went to church. We prayed. God was a helper, but in my mind, I did most of the heavy lifting. My wife Leslie was pregnant with our second child Alec.

It was easy-street with our first son Brandon. Such a good boy. Almost perfect. With great anticipation, we looked forward to Alec to complete our little happy family unit. I had dropped my wife off for a doctor’s visit and drove to my office to get a few things done. I wasn’t there long before I received a frantic call from the nurse instructing me to get back to the doctor’s office immediately. My wife had been given some bad news and I needed to be there. That day we found out that Alec was a child with Down Syndrome, that he had a major heart defect, that he might not make it, that his life would not be ideal, and that he wouldn’t be the perfect son we had hoped for. Who hopes for anything less than perfect, right? No one hopes for Down Syndrome. No one hopes for heart defects.

The doctors let us know we could terminate the pregnancy. Though we were upset, not knowing anything about kids with Down Syndrome or heart problems, we knew immediately that Alec was God’s gift to us and that we were about to begin a new journey, perhaps a wild ride. So with great fanfare, Alec was welcomed into the world and into our family. Our life changed dramatically; we entered a season of spending much time in and out of Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City. It seemed as if we lived there. Alec went through many heart surgeries. We never knew whether he was going to live or die. Our thoughts constantly teetered between life and death.

Balancing life was hard. Leslie and I juggled our jobs, both sons, along with home and hospital life. We were exhausted and very very stressed. I can remember being at a breaking point and pleading with God, letting Him know that I was at my wits end, that I couldn’t handle all the stress of this season ... and then I heard His voice. That faint voice in my heart stated very clearly, “Then give it to me.” That week I searched the scriptures for every verse I could find on stress and how to get God’s peace. To my surprise, there were many. I read them and it was clear. I didn’t have to carry the burden; I could surrender it to God and find the peace that passes all understanding.

John 16:33. John 14:27. 2 Thessalonians 3:16. Romans 15:13. Philippians 4:6-7. Isaiah 26:3. I found the scriptures. I read them. Now the question was, did I really believe them? Sure I believed in God. But did I have the faith to actually believe His promises? Make no mistake; these ARE promises. Not sometimes He does, sometimes He doesn’t. No maybes. Through His Word, God was offering a promise – to me! He wasn’t going to force it on me. They were mine to accept, just like I had accepted Him as my Savior at a young age. So I decided to JUST BELIEVE. And for the first time in a long time, my wife and I had peace. The trouble was not gone, but the stress, worry, and fear were gone. Many times we’d take the burden back, finding ourselves back to square one, only to surrender it back to God and receive our peace once again.

What I realized was the Bible wasn’t just a book of rules. It was a book of promises. God’s promises to us. These promises were part of our family benefits package, part of our inheritance. Turns out, there are about 6,000 promises in there for us, a promise for every challenge and obstacle we’ll ever face.

Since then, I no longer rely on my personal will power; instead, I am committed to Word power.

-Gerald